Anhedonia

The motivational variant.

Why do people strive to be successful? Or at least to be "somebody"?

It's because when you're a nobody, you get nowhere, or don't get far.

Most of the time, people reserve opportunities for the privileged ones. But to be one of the privileged ones, one has to sacrifice a lot along the way...

Expectation is the root of all heartaches. -William Shakespere

If you don't expect things, you won't get a heartache. Easier said than done. Who doesn't expect things in this world? Expectation is what drives people forward and helps us long for something, makes us look forward to the future. Or is that "hope" instead? I'm confused.

An opportunity missed is a lesson learnt to make sure we don't lose the next one.

There's no point harping on the mistakes we've made in the past. A good friend has once said, "Just work around it". And make sure not to make the same mistakes in future, or next life (if there is another one). Well, i guess nobody knows whether they've made the correct choices until they have either tasted the fruit of it or suffer from the consequences. Whatever it is, everyone has to be accounted for choices he or she has made, and to live with them.

However disappointed you are today, nurse it and get over with it. Don't let it eat you up. Make do with what you have now and try to enjoy it. :)

p.s. emo lah for not being able to attend a 3-day course *sigh* just because i'm under-qualified, for now

Fast & Furious

I love speeding. I love the thrill, the adrenaline rush, the kick.
Dangerous but satisfying.
It's one of the rare moments i get to empty my mind of everything. Every. single. thing that's been bugging me.
I only like it when i'm the driver :P No guts to be the passenger, yet. ;)
So no traffic jams, please. Otherwise i don't get to speed :D
It's been a long long time since i last drove for hours on the highway...

Happy Mother's Day

Recently, a very good friend of mine has encouraged me to write again... So here i am! It's been 2 years since i last blogged :P It's going to be a very random post about random stuffs :)

Happy Mother's Day to all the loving mothers out there, who have and haven't held their child :)

To all my blog followers (i bet none of you is still following now LOL), yeah i've got a child of my own now. Nope, i'm not going to blog about my experience in the labour room, don't you worry okay :)

Why i stopped blogging

There are several reasons i stopped blogging since April 2013.

I got lazy :P

And i got pregnant since May 2013 so pregnancy drained my energy haha :D

And my child came along in Feb 2014 so i have been occupied since then :)

The main reason is actually me not wanting to expose too much on myself on the net :P

Nowadays, you can do a search on anybody on Google. I know that very well myself *ehem* So it's kind of dangerous now that i've a child :P Okay excuses apart... I've realised that i prefer two-way communications rather than pouring my heart out without getting a feedback or so. :-/ and i've learnt to trust people less over the years. It's a phase of growing up, i guess. It's not very nice but that's the reality. :-/

Being a mother

When something big happens, something tragic, you freeze, you retreat into your happy bubble for what seems like a second, until you look up. And suddenly, you realise it's a whole new world. (Grey's Anatomy; season 11, episode 23)

Having a child is not something tragic but it's definitely a big thing. I've learnt so much of myself since Carol came along. My strength, my perseverance, my ego. It's like getting to know myself all over again. :)

Friends

The more you age, the less number of true friends you have. True friends are hard to come by, so when you meet one, you better cherish that friendship :)

Since i became a mother, the main topic of conversations has always revolved around parenting, parenting, and parenting ^.^" Acquaintances who have children have suddenly become friends! :D

On the other hand, friends to whom you can spill your secrets are very hard to come by nowadays. And those who're willing to listen to your rants and whatnot's, AND actually give you some constructive inputs are even rarer species :D I'm very grateful to have a handful of these kind souls in my life. Without you people, i'd be long gone at the mental asylum XD

Series i watch nowadays

Grey's Anatomy has always been on top of my list :)

And i've started to watch Game of Thrones :P Not quite to my liking but no harm trying a different genre.

And yeah, i still watch some good TVB series. Only those good ones. I don't watch those silly, lame series :P

For Korean series, i'm still trying to finish Jang Ok Jung (i started watching it more than a year ago!). It's a historical series. I still have the perception that most Korean series are slow paced and the lead actor/ actress will end up dying :P Prove me wrong!

My very good friend told me that i'm a chatterbox (which is very true). So if you're watching any of the above series, let's talk about it alright? I seriously need someone to share my "heartfelt moments" :D Okay, that's me being a woman ^.^

Spotify

I've been recently introduced to this cool app for listening to songs. Highly recommended. And share your playlist with me, please :D

'Till i get inspired to write again :)

Of Strong Women...

I've always admired & looked up to strong women in my life, be it in real life or in fiction (drama/ movies/ novel). I guess deep inside me, i yearn to be one :)

I love women who have strong determination, and always know what they want in life, and have clear targets & goals.

I feel fortunate to meet a few of them throughout my life journey, and they have been the ones who've inspired me in many aspects.

They've showed me that although being the "weaker sex" (this is an undeniable fact!), women can do so many other things, and sometimes be no lousier than men. It's through these career women whom i see the perseverance & real ability of females, especially in working mothers (i really salute them).

There's no doubt life is about making decisions & sacrificing oneself, and sometimes standing at the crossroads, hesitating which path to choose. Man proposes, God disposes.

But if one doesn't have a draft (if not a blueprint/ a plan) for his or her life, he or she will be like a floating leaf in the sea, leaving fate to the waves, going wherever the waves bring it to.

I'm glad that i've plans for my future :) However, there are times when i've to forgo some things due to circumstances. Hence, one must always be quick to come up with a Plan B rather than leaving everything to fate, just like prisoners on the death row.

To women i look up to, i thank you for inspiring me (knowingly/ unknowingly), for being role models in my life :)

I hope to be like you people in future. Maybe, hopefully, better be! :D

Talk about Give & Take

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.” C. S. Lewis

"Most of us can forgive & forget; we just don't want the other person to forget that we forgave." Ivern Ball

"Too many women are dying & suffering in silence. We need to get this disease on the radar screen." Elisabeth Ross

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." Harvey S. Firestone

"Silence is exceptionally loud in an eloquent person." Eunice Soh

"Silence is the only thing i'm able to give if words couldn't be comprehended." Eunice Soh

Bowling

Went bowling just now

1st time playing, didn't score high but i think it's quite reasonable :P

Fun!

Have faith. Cherish it!

I fell

I got hurt

I stood up

I recovered

I gained support

I was discouraged

I suffered

I persevered

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. ~William Feather

I did something silly

Was walking towards the hospital to faculty after lunch.

A lady in a white Myvi stopped me behind the dining hall, asking for direction to parking lots.

She has to attend an interview at the hospital at 2pm.

It was already 1.33pm.

In my mind, the multi-storey car park beside Accident & Emergency Department was the only place with empty parking lots at that time.

Considering she being a stranger to this place & the time constraint, i offered to get into her car to show her the way there.

We exited the campus via PJ gate & headed towards the car park.

I explained how to get to the main building of the hospital to her before i got down from her car.

Joyfully i headed to my faculty & told my friends about how i've helped someone.

In the end, all my friends who've heard my story scolded me for being too naive, too kind-hearted to have actually offered to get into a stranger's car to show the direction.

I could've been abducted by an innocent-looking person!

Ok, sorry... No next time

Fakers are fake

...and they will try to take advantages on you...

...and they will act innocent...

...and they will act like they are "friends" of yours...

...and they will start saying inappropriate things which they think are "advices" to you...

...and they think they know the whole situation...

...and they will try to manipulate your mind...

...and they will try to persuade you to make desicions which are against your principles...

...and they will try to victimise you and tell you that what they think is good for you...

...and they will try to boss you around...

but you realised their motives

and you are not stupid and ignorant

but you are assertive and positive

and you act cool and innocent

for you wait for the right moment to strike

to fight for your right and survival

for this is who you are and what you want

to live your life your way

for no one can influence you and your life

as long as you are assertive and determined

Life is not always easy

But if you never try to make it easier, and always be a follower, you'll be like having your nose ringed and pulled and enslaved like a cow

Live your life your way!

Don't try to mess with me, for i'm not someone you are able to handle =)

Do i look thinner?

"Eunice, you look thinner!"

Lecturers & friends have been telling me this recently when they see me for the 1st time after the long holidays. Do i?

My weight has been always 43.5kg for few years already. The "fattest" time in my entire life was in year 2006 when i was in matriculation college. My weight shot up to 47kg and i had to buy new pants & skirts >.<

Gone were the days when i was a little bit more chubby & nicer looking. I'm now bony & skeleton-like.

I'm sorry to those friends who always complain of gaining weight easily, but i really have to say that it's never good to be skinny & hard to gain weight.

It's very difficult for me to buy clothes especially shirts as only size XS & S will fit nicely on me without making me look like i'm "swimming" in them/ like a cockroach (that's what my mum used to call people wearing oversized clothes like the long shell of cockroaches :P).

Concerned friends will keep asking me to eat more to put on more weight. Haha i eat a lot! But the nutrients just couldn't be absorbed adequately into my blood =(

Tried western & Chinese antiparasitic medications but they weren't effective on me.

Anyone with effective methods?

Am i less fortunate?

seeing friends from my once medieval and now devoloping hometown succeed in life, get to study abroad, travel around the world, i sometimes ask why luck and fortune have not knock on my door? why i can't be like them? why my life is less interesting, well, at least to me?

for some stupid reasons, i got an A2 for Moral Studies in SPM, there goes my straight A1 and my scholarship to study abroad...

i wanted to become a scientific researcher... luckily my parents persuaded me to study dentistry, so that i could secure a better promised future, this is the one of the only few things i'm proud of myself now.

however, my dream to study abroad since young has not been achieved yet. MU is a good university, but the culture and lifestyle are so different compared to those overseas ones. I'm so glad that my sis has the chance to live my dream for me =)

Now i wish that i can ace in my studies and get a scholarship to do my postgraduate studies overseas. Sigh, however, circumstances might delay or prevent me from achieving this as there are other important things in life that i've to consider. Life is easier being a man.

So, it's either i do my post-grads overseas or earn as much money as i can to travel around the world, which is my other dream.

Men is never contented. We are greedy. But greed pushes us further, in a decent way, i hope.

I've been learning to appreciate things i've. I've a good family. I've close friends who cares for me. I've aquaintances to hang around with.

At least i'm fortunate enough to live in this country, where education is available to almost everyone.

At least i'm fortunate enough to have food for every meal.

At least i've a shelter.

I'm actually very fortunate, i've to learn to appreciate & cherish what i have.

It's been a long time since i last posted a long blog entry. I hope i can do this more often. I miss the good old days when i'd the mood to write good articles. This is life =)

My myopia & astigmatisme power decreased again!

This has been happening for a few years consecutively. I hope the powers will continue reducing till one day i don't have to wear specs anymore =D

Touched by my creation

spent hours creating a creation :P using a software i was totally unfamiliar with. Learnt Macromedia Flash Fireworks and another one named something like... Dreamworks when i was doing my matriculation. It's a little bit similar but different =P

cried when the program crashed after everything was done the first time... had to start from scratch again :'( then i clicked "save" each time i've completed a stage.

... and TADA! It's finally created! My sweat + blood + tears... was so touched when i viewed it :')

i love this song... "A Simple Love Song" by Green Soda

小情歌-蘇打綠

这是一首简单的小情歌

唱著人們心腸的曲折
我想我很快樂　當有你的溫熱
腳邊的空氣轉了
這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著我們心頭的白鴿
我想我很適合　當一個歌頌者
青春在風中飄著

你知道　就算大雨讓這個城市顛倒
我會給你懷抱
受不了　看見你背影來到
寫下我　度秒如年難捱的離騷
就算整個世界被寂寞綁票
我也不會奔跑
逃不了　最後誰也都蒼老
寫下我　時間和琴聲交錯的城堡

Was down with flu

was down with common flu (viral URTI) for the past few days. Hated the fact that there's nothing i could do to bring my fever down for being allergic to paracetamol and NSAIDs (known ones: ibuprofen & mefenamic acid).

still left with cough now >.<

Shopping spree

went shopping at Square One shopping mall Parkson departmental store with mum this afternoon. Bought 6 formal shirts altogether =P Will go again tomorrow to buy trousers. The person who created XS size is sooo great!!! Otherwise, i'd have to buy S-sized clothes as usual and get my mum to alter them for me =P

Yay it's time to enjoy my holidays =)

Finally, my final examinations for my 3rd academic year is over!!!

Holidays May6 - July6

Will most probably be back in Batu Pahat on May11 =)

Happy 21st Birthday Jan22 & CNY!!!

finally, i'm an adult, legally ;)
with the passing of my great-grandmother,
this year's CNY will be celebrated slightly differently.
hols: Jan24 - Feb2

My IQ score!!!

I'm now a registered UberMens International member! It's an online high IQ society ;)

sigh...

due to fuel price hike, the project of demolishing some of the lecture halls of Dental Faculty at University Hospital was delayed. Clinical students will continue attending lectures there, but not at Balai Ungku Aziz as planned.

Advantages
i don't have to rush from BUA to UH after lectures for my clinical sessions, as the walking distance takes 30mins. The walking distance from 6th Residential College to UH is 15mins, sheltered (within the hospital building) & not hilly.

Disadvantages
I purposely bought a scooter & got an L-licence! I know i can leave the motorcycle at home for my dad to ride, as to save fuel by not having to drive a car. But scooter is more expensive than common geared motorcycles a.k.a. kapchai. Had i known earlier that the project has been delayed, we would have bought a kapchai instead! I was to renew my L-licence every 3 months at the post office and that costs RM35 everytime! I was planning to learn riding geared ones before sitting for the exam to get a permanent licence during my next holidays. We had even contacted one of my uncle to send my scooter to my campus next week.
Argh! My dad has spent a few thousands on me during this holiday. Feel so bad >.<

Good news!!!

haha i went for eyesight check-up this afternoon.
my myopia & astigmatisme power decreased again by 25 - 50 degrees!
so now my myopia degree on each of my eyes is 125 - 170 degrees; astigmatisme < 100 degrees.
so i changed the lenses.
Happy !!! (^.^)